XCENTRIC-ANGEL

What do you think about when you are all alone? The time when you first kissed someone you loved? The first time when your heart was broken? Or the time when a stranger was kind to you? Well there are so many things that fill our mind on long lonely nights - Memories. What are these memories? Why do they come? Why do they remind us of all those hurtful times? Our heart may be weak, and the pain could be great. Imagine if you've broken up with someone you love so much and see an Apache bike go past you? A bike they once drove, can drive you crazy cause at that time all the memories of the time you spent together, laughing and having fun, will torture you and make you wonder what went wrong. Memories are of two types. They either make you feel sad or they make you really happy. These little strands of moments lost in time, have the power to create or destroy you. They are more powerful than a nuclear bomb. Then why do we have these memories? Cant we forget they exist and go about lif...

I am in love. In love with a boy who looks like an angel. A boy for whom I waited so long to find. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry. He makes me feel like a woman, he makes me feel like a stranger. He says he loves me, and then he says that he wants to be free. He says he wants to be with me every moment, and he stays away when he wants to. My heart heaves and cries for long hours in the nights. It feels like my heart has been torn out. I feel so alone though he is so near. He makes me want to be the best I could ever be, but he also makes me green with envy. The feelings I have for him are so strong, but sometimes I feel they are all wrong. I wait all day long just to hear his voice, but the call never comes. We fight like we are a perfect miss match, but when I see him smile I don't remember anything else. It is strange to feel such complicated feelings all for one person. Is he a devil disguised as an angel? Or an angel forced to be evil? He tortures me so much with his words...

I close my eyes days go by I see white magick! I dont know why but it feels so true. It is very cold I want someone to hold But I see this white magick. It fills me with a sense of warmth a sense of being close and connected. The heavens are finally ready to open! I open my eyes slowly I first see it first, tiny and small A speck of white dust twirling in the wind dancing its way to me. I twirl along with it closer and closer it comes bigger and bigger it gets Made up of design so divine I beg for it not to melt, I sigh. I close my eyes again And I feel the sun scorch my face I open my eyes to the dessert I lay parched in the hot sand My mouth dry and split my last breath on my lips Strangely, there is no worry in my heart. I close my eyes and see the white magick again falling slowly from the heavens falling on my face falling on my finger tips Tiny specks of dust with a design divine White magick of the heavens my Snowflake in the dessert Sun!

A lantern shines in the darkness, hanging precariously from a nail on the wall. The wind spreads through the vastness, as it grunts and hauls, loudly, piercing through the echos. But no matter what, no one can hear my call. I walk alone, stumbling through the crevices of my mind. The light is gone now, but for the lantern that shines. What have I become? A monster of some kind? Blood is streaming from my face, is that a sign? Battles I have fought, the victories I have had, none of these seem to matter in the darkness deep within my head. I walk like the dead, pacing around, feeling sad. The light flutters in the lantern. A light that once led is now letting me drown in the velvet black of my mind. Where could I have gone terribly wrong, I wonder. My life has definitely lost its sheen. Will I ever see the light that once shone? The darkness engulfs my being, leaving me with the skeletons of my past. They become ghosts and haunt me now. How could sanity, now ever last? The lantern sha...

Its finally here! Winter the month that makes me feel all mixed up inside. Unlike summer, where even your most irritable sweaty day fades away into the cool evening breeze, a winter day tends to freeze you over. Not physically, mind you! In a place like Hyderabad winters are only in the nights. Its when the temperature dips to 14 degrees (which by the way is quite cool considering we live in a tropical area). It all began when I was younger. Probably when I was around 10 or 12 years of age. I was in my home town, Vizag. It's a coastal city, where you can smell the sea in the air at any given time. During the end of one November month, as I was playing on the road with my friends, I suddenly stopped and closed my eyes. A sweet cold wind brushed my face, caressing my cheeks so tenderly. I stood frozen in time, and that was when I knew that my life was never going to be the same. Winter is that time of the month when I feel the most alone. I am disconnected from life and want to be l...

Life is so un-fair. I wish there was more to life than this! I really wish I was dead... All around us, we can hear people saying this... But what is it that we really want? We all need some negotiations with life. 'If I do this, I hope you can give me this' we negotiate with God. Or if we don't believe in the supreme being, we make promises to ourselves, like, if we quit smoking then maybe my luck will change. Nothing is going to change! Nothing ever will. Once somebody told me that, we are all but God's tea bags. Only when we are dipped in hot water, do we actually know our strenghts! Well that is true. To an extent. But what if the water is piping hot and the tea bag breaks? That is where I am now, I think. On this mundane Wednesday afternoon, as I sit, sipping my hot cup of machine coffee, I realize what I finally want from life. It is the most idealistic thought. A thought which I would someday like to see come true. Not only for me, but for all the people I love. ...